This is my last day in Prague. I don’t even know how to start this blog post. I spent the last half hour trying hard not to completely lose it on the tram ride home. I am having to say goodbye to everyone who I have become so close with, knowing that we will probably never see each other again. They have become my family and the thought of leaving the life that I have here makes me so sad.
My experiences here have really been the best of my life. I know that I was meant to have this experience for a reason. Before coming here, I had had the best summer of my life and I was in such a great place. Life had been preparing for me to come here. It has only been three months, but I have changed in ways that I cannot even describe. I have learned so much about who I am and about life, love, and happiness. I have seen breath-taking things, I have learned so much about the world that we live in, I have made friends from all over the world. Life is constantly changing, and I have finally made a routine and life for myself here and now it is time to go home, back to another life.
Since being here, I have come to be a believer of so many things. I used to write-off religion and spirituality, but I came to learn here that everything happens for a reason. Every event that I experienced here added something to my life and made me who I am today. I no longer think that everyone is out to get me, but that we are all here to help each other and to grow as much as we can in our short time on earth.
What can I even say about Prague? I partied harder here than is even imaginable, spending all night out and riding home in the morning with people on their way to work. I met amazing friends who supported me and we made the most amazing memories together. I will never forget the girls that I met here and I hope someday to see them again. Prague is the best city in central Europe. It is so international and I have met people from all over the world. The city is scattered with the most beautiful of landmarks and there is always something to do or see. It is as if I have been living in a fairytale for the past three months.
I even found love here. Not a love like a relationship, but love as in love for myself, what I have, and for those around me. For the men that I met here and will probably never see again, I have no regrets. We all enter each others lives, even for just a short time, and we add to each other. We give each other experiences that change who we are, and that is what I have.
As I type, the tears are falling all over my keyboard. They told us that we would have reverse-culture shock when going home, and I never believed them. I do now. It is going to be really interesting to see how I re-adjust to living in the United States. I hope it is an easy process, but I know that I am going to miss Prague so much.
I did not travel as much as others while here, only a few other countries, but I feel like I really lived in Prague. I was here. I lived in Europe. I became apart of a city, apart of something larger than myself. I have been completely on my own here, away from family and friends, but was able to create a life here. I know now that I can do absolutely anything that I set my mind to. I got to experience something that people only dream about, and I am not taking it for granted.
I know that I will be back, no question about it. I am meant to live in Berlin and so when the time comes, I will come back to Europe. I want to go home and see my family, but if I could come straight back after that, I would. I am not afraid anymore to be on my own, I can survive.
I have so many thoughts in my head and emotions that it is hard to sort it out and get them all down. I couldn’t have asked for a better study abroad experience. Yes there were hard times, but now that we have reached the end, I can hardly remember them. I can only think about the amazing things that happened to me here.
I remember this night were we all went to the club and my friends decided to leave early (3 am) and like usual, I stayed until about 5. I was trying to get home, but was completely lost in the city. I just remember walking and seeing the lights and empty streets. I had many nights like this, and during my walks home I always would have time to think about what was going on in my life. I remember always feeling so grateful, empowered, and just at complete peace with myself. I won’t forget these nights because you learn the most about yourself when you have to find your way home (Or that is at least how it was for me).
I have fears about going home. I think that things will be different from when I left. I honestly cannot remember the last time that I skyped my best friend, which hurts, or when I talked to anyone from DU. I know that they have lives to lead as well, but I feel that we have grown apart so much and maybe we all arent meant to be friends forever. I know that is a morbid thought, but I just can’t see myself having the same relationship with my friends back home. I am a different person and they had events happen in the last few months that I wasn’t there for. That is one of the reasons that I want to stay, I think, What does going home have to offer me? I will probably change my mind when I get home and see everyone, but that is just some thoughts I have had.
This entire experience has been so surreal. I sit back and think, shit. I have been living in Europe for the past three months. I have only ever dreamed of doing something like this and now I have. I have contracted the travel-bug and now the thought of living in the US and going to school like society says I must sound terrible. The Aussie’s travel for months at a time before the go to school or settle down. I like this way of life because I feel that in the US, we miss out on so much that life have to offer because all we care about is getting a fucking job and having money. That IS NOT what life is about. I have learned that life is about experiences. I want to travel the world. I don’t need a lot, maybe a backpack and a few dollars to get me over seas. I hope that I am able once I graduate to just travel for awhile. It is so important to see the world and how it works, outside of the comfort zone of the country that you call home. It seems like the rest of the world understands the importance of this, but I never get that vibe in the US. I don’t think that I will live there for the rest of my life. The US doesn’t support travel, growth, or knowledge like they do in Europe and other parts of the world.
I feel like I am just rambling now. But, on a final note, I want to share with you the best thing that has ever happened to me. I traveled to Berlin by myself for four days over fall break. Besides already having a very intense relationship with the city ( I know I lived there in a past life), I just felt like I was home. I knew the entire city after one day and felt so comfortable. Traveling there alone was the best thing that I could have ever done for myself. It made me realize that I am capable of anything and that I am strong. I was a little depressed before going, but since coming back from Berlin, I have never felt so content with my life. The other day I was thinking and realized that all of those negative emotions and all that teenage angst that I used to have is completely gone. I hardly ever get angry or upset, everything is just at an even keel. Coming to Europe helped me to achieve this.
Anyways, this is my last blog post. I hope you all enjoyed the ride with me.